


Some Kind of Monster

by Noir_Kabuki



Series: Azulee One-Shots (yup, this is what fills my waking hours) [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, S.3 Ep. 5: The Beach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 15:13:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30107889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noir_Kabuki/pseuds/Noir_Kabuki
Summary: After being betrayed at the Boiling Rock, Azula smashes things and reminisces on all that could have been.
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (mentioned)
Series: Azulee One-Shots (yup, this is what fills my waking hours) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162163
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Some Kind of Monster

**Author's Note:**

> It’s kind of easy to tell that I like to name my works after songs. This was is titled after “Some Kind of Monster” by Neon Trees, which is such a Tyzula song it hurts.

Fire Princess Azula was in the training room, smashing things. The equipment felt the full force of her wrath, like anyone who had dared try to speak to her since she had returned from the Boiling Rock.

Mai and Ty Lee. The only two unshakable points in her life, the only people she truly considered friends, had abandoned her. Mai hadn’t surprised her— she cared about Zuko more than anything else, and would probably follow him to hell and back. But Ty Lee... Azula could hardly remember a time in her life when Ty Lee hadn’t been at her side. That she would betray her now... especially after all that had happened...

She was transported back to that night on Ember Island: beneath the shadow of her old house, illuminated by the embers of a dying fire. Zuko and Mai were off on a romantic walk, having been broken up for a grand total of one hour. They would kiss and cuddle and make up and everything would be fine.

Everything was not fine.

Sitting in the sand to her left, Ty Lee turned a smooth stone over in her hand. “I guess this place really does smooth over rough edges.”

In reply, Azula muttered, “no matter how pretty you make a rock look on the outside, it’s still a cold, hard, rock.”

Ty Lee slowly set down the stone. “Right... you’re not really one for talking things over, are you?”

“Don’t tell me it wasn’t hard for you to bring up your family,” the princess said. “I know you, Ty. It takes a lot to make you break down like that.” Despite the appearance she might give, Ty Lee was tough. People underestimated her, then regretted it. It was one of the things Azula admired about her. But talking about her parents and identical siblings tonight had made her burst into tears. 

Now she shrugged. “It’s not that I don’t love them. It’s just that... sometimes I feel like... I don’t know...”

“Like they don’t love you back,” Azula finished.

“I know that’s horrible.”

“It’s not. You are perfectly justified in your feelings.”

“You would know, wouldn’t you,” she muttered.

Azula scowled and tore her gaze away.

Ty Lee immediately gasped. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, that was so insensitive of me! It’s just, what you said about your mom earlier...”

_My own mother thought I was a monster._ Azula had tried to keep the words in, but they slipped out anyway and she had covered them up as quickly as possible. She wanted to say that she didn’t care, or that she didn’t want to talk about it... but somehow, opening up didn’t seem as difficult when it was just Ty Lee she was talking to. So she said, “Mother always knew I was a troubled child. The problem was that she never bothered to try and understand why. And the rest of my family isn’t any better. Zuko straight-up hates me— for good reason. And my father only cares about what I can do for him, not actually about me.”

“But he should be proud of you,” Ty Lee protested. “I mean, you conquered Ba Sing Se, for spirits sake!” 

“I know. You’d think that would be enough.” Azula got up and began to pace. “But nothing I do is ever good enough. No matter how much Zuko complains about his life, he’s still the one who matters— the Crown Prince, born with divine right to rule.” She said that part in a bitter tone. “Well, what made me any less worthy than him? I’ve spent my life trying to prove that I am worth something; that I’m not just the extra child.” She sat back down on the rock. “That I’m not weak or pathetic or a failure...” She bit her tongue before the rest of the words could come tumbling out.

“Who told you all those things, Azula?” Ty whispered. 

For a long moment, the princess didn’t answer, and Ty Lee thought she wasn’t going to. Then she murmured, “no one had to. Sometimes the voices in your own head are completely enough.” 

Carefully, her friend got up and went to sit beside her. “Is that why you act like you don’t care about anybody? Because you feel like no one’s ever going to love you, so what’s the point in loving them back?”

“...something like that.”

And Ty Lee understood. She had that same feeling every time she was mistaken for one of her siblings— she just handled it differently. On the outside, the two of them were polar opposites: Azula with her arrogant smirk and devil-may-care attitude, Ty Lee with her bubbly personality and constant smiles. But on the inside, they wanted the same thing. 

That was what prompted her to ask, “what about that boy at the party? He didn’t like you?”

Azula snorted. “No, he just wanted to make out with me.”

“...yeah, that’s generally my experience with boys too. And you didn’t like him?”

“Of course not.”

“But you kissed him.”

“I’ve kissed lots of boys before— perk of being a princess. I just don’t feel anything for any of them, and not for lack of trying. Boys just don’t make me feel that way.” She paused. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not capable of loving anybody.”

She tried to say it flippantly, like she did not care, but Ty Lee snapped, “ **no** , Azula.” The uncharacteristic firmness in her voice startled the princess. “Just because you’re different doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Trust me, I should know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

The severity melted into shyness. “I know you can’t really tell... but I don’t like boys very much either.”

And then she leaned forward, slowly, very slowly, closing the space between them, and kissed her. If it could even be called a kiss, that is: just a gentle brush of the lips; hesitant, unsure, yet it set Azula’s heart on fire.

When Ty pulled back and saw her expression, she stammered, “I’m— I’m sorry. I just got caught up in the—“

“No,” Azula interrupted. “Don’t— don’t apologize.” 

And they smiled.

There was a row of dummies at the end of the room. One by one Azula eviscerated them, picturing a different face on each of them. Mai. Zuko. Her mother. Her father. A pang went through her chest as she sent a lightning bolt through the last one— the one that was Ty Lee— and another memory rose up unbidden.

The day after the eclipse, she entered the throne room and approached the dias, where her father stood with his back turned. Dropping to one knee, she said, “you summoned me, Father?”

As if she had not spoken, Fire Lord Ozai began. “An interesting turn of events yesterday, was it not?”

She shrugged. “That’s one word for it, I suppose. I, for one, never expected their pathetic little invasion to amount to anything, and Zuko’s betrayal wasn’t that surprising either.”

“Yes, Zuko. He confronted me before he left, you know.”

His daughter snorted. “Can’t imagine that went well for him.”

“He did bring some rather important matters to my attention.” He turned to face her. “Tell me, were you ignorant to the fact that the Avatar is alive, or did you deliberately attempt to deceive me when you told me Zuko killed him?”

Feigning shock, Azula jumped to her feet. “The Avatar lives? Father, I would never withhold such important information from you.”

“Then I suppose Zuko was the one lying?”  
“Well, Zuko is not known for his—“

“SILENCE!” The Fire Lord roared. Azula flinched— Azula actually flinched. “Because of your failure, the Avatar has been allowed to roam free, to lead an invasion force to the Fire Nation’s shores, to break into my own stronghold!” 

“I’ll make it up to you,” Azula insisted.  
“Give me a chance to hunt them; I swear I will—“

“No,” Ozai broke in. “You will act where and when I say, and no time else, and if you disobey me again, your punishment will be most severe. Am I understood?”

“Father—“

“Am I. Understood.”

She bowed her head. “Yes, Fire Lord.”

He waved his hand. “Get out of my sight.”

Later Ty Lee found the princess brooding in a corner behind a row of columns.“Didn’t go so well, did it?”

“Failure,” Azula growled. “I conquered the most heavily fortified city in the world. I practically handed him the Earth Kingdom on a silver platter, and yet somehow, I’m still a failure?”

“He’s just mad because of the invasion,” Ty Lee consoled. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“It’s not like that,” the princess muttered. “He only ever gives a damn about me if I’m useful to him, and even then, it’s not really me he gives the damn about!”

“That’s not your fault, Azula.” Ty Lee reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, and suddenly Azula found it very difficult to focus on anything other than that hand. “You’re brave, and strong, and confident, and smart, and if he can’t see that, then that’s his fault, not yours.”

Azula stared at her. “Bold words to say about your Fire Lord.”

“And my Fire Princess,” she reminded her with a small smile.

She didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded. Ty Lee dropped her hand and started to walk away, and Azula felt like something had been left unsaid between them. She was not sure how to bring it up, but she figured if she was brave like her friend said, then she would. So she blurted out, “Ty Lee?”

The other girl turned. “Yeah?”

“I know we never really talked about Ember Island...”

That was as far as she got, but Ty understood. “Oh yeah... I guess we just haven’t had time, with the invasion and all... do you want to talk about it?”

“Did you... did you mean it?” She managed.

Ty Lee’s response was immediate. “Of course. You don’t have to be afraid of that.” 

Azula folded her arms. “What makes you think I’m afraid?”

“I don’t. You’re not afraid of anything.”

“No. I’m not.”

And with that, Azula crossed over to her, pressing her against a column, and kissed her. Ty Lee’s arms came up to wrap around her neck, kissing her back just as firmly, and for that one moment, everything was right.

She had run out of things to burn, so she just threw fireballs, heating them up in sync with her ire. She had been stupid. And weak. And vulnerable. 

_Standing on the roof of the prison, glaring at Mai, furious with her for putting her in this position. Not sparing any attention to Ty Lee beside her, unable to know how she felt, that her moral compass was spinning out of control, torn between what she believed was right and the girl she loved. All she knew was that she couldn’t let Azula and Mai hurt each other!_

Her flames burned white-hot; she wasn’t even following the forms. She had been foolish and stupid. Trust was an illusion. Friendship was a lie. So why did it hurt so much?

Her fire burned out, Princess Azula slumped against the wall and let out a scream: of rage, of frustration, of pain, _why did it hurt so much???_

_So,_ she thought to herself, _this is what it feels like when your heart is breaking._

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry. I promise that the next one will be stupid and fluffy.


End file.
